"A new beginning"

Since Fiji is placed almost along the international date line, it means that I am one of the first people to see the new year :D

Every year I use resolutions to enhance or to prove myself. This year I have a few business goals....my ideas of expansion mostly.I commit myself to certain changes that will benefit me in some way. I haven't thought of anything but my spiritual health. My physical health hasn't been too good either. I still have a nasty cough and it refuses to go away. I still have some carrots in my garden and I have hope that my life will slowly piece together once I get back to basics.I still have this pain in my side.....but I will endure it as long as I know that my love is not lost! I am happy that I have become more committed to myself which is what I used to be.I still have a dark sadness that has settled over me but I'm slowly washing away the pain.....just like the rain that washes away the dirt on my window ...someone told me life is pain....I believe this to be a half truth. Life is pain but it can also be a beautiful thing :) I have experienced such beauty in my life and I have experienced so much love that I cannot believe that life is ALL pain and no gain....I gained so much from living....and I hope to gain a lot more in my life :) but I also like to share too :P

I'm looking at the publish button so I can hit it at exactly midnight.....that will make this one of the first posts, if not the first post this year :D

bloody hell my time zone was wrong :P oh well...nvm

"red meat is okay...but avoid blue-green meat"

My life and my progress has been halted by certain "developments" I believe I can get back on track but I know it will take a lot more effort to do so. I have been pondering my next few steps very carefully, it starts with an "ending" and a "new beginning" will follow it, the problem is.....the "ending" is dragging on like a woman getting dressed :P I have been unable to work on my new beginnings as yet but I figure I will just go ahead and wait for the ending later. This is not something easy, in fact it is one of the most complex situations since it involves emotions. Human emotion is one of the most complex entities on earth, I think.....it is human emotion that is responsible for the great things in the world but it is also human emotion that destroys most of the good things. I am just allowing myself to heal naturally and allowing time to pick up where I left off and to keep going, to endure all that life is throwing at me :) I feel good about myself for allowing "time" for others to respond to a situation. It is only fair. I do believe I can make a decent come back after this.....I am down but not out! :)

"when I finally got my head together...my body fell apart"

it has been a hard struggle to alleviate the things that hinder my progress....I have got my act together slowly and I am getting better :) I miss my family. It's just me and my bro now...we're taking care of ourselves.....it feels alright.

With the festive mood in the air, I got a gift from one of my valued customers :D He said he appreciates the service.......He is a diplomat and he loves his job and people :) I think he is cool. Well there are many things that have been lagging behind but my workouts are still going...I've ripped myself a good set of abs...hehe.....it's all coming along so well :)

And my carrots.....there's still 1 or 2 left. I will let it grow until it can grow no more.....or I run out of veggies....lol

I have given myself a lot of thinking space....I have also made a new friend :) but I still stay close to my old ones. There is so much I want to do and I am glad to do it. Work is slow as people wind down for their Christmas break. The stores are so capitalizing on this holiday...I bought a water purifying kit yesterday, but I still think I will buy FIJI water...

Anyway this is my $129 bottle of Scotch.........haha I thought it was cheap until my brother told me...."bro, this thing is expensive"....he would know...he's the alco:P...perhaps I'll sell it to him? haha or maybe not...I wanna drink it...it will make me feel expensive...lol......or just drunk :P

"some people say I'm superficial....but thats just on the surface"

Some idiot reported my youtube video so I had to change hosts. Anyway, I am not really a big fan of youtube....I am sad that Nathan is dead but I'm happy that I'm still alive.....I think? :P I have done a lot of working out lately...but my cough makes it hard to stand,just doing my lower abs because it helps with posture and "other things". I had no work yesterday(actually I had work but I didn't go...hehe) I will go and work on my friend C's computer.She hasn't got her data yet(apparently I have now become a data recovery expert of some sort to her...) I will do it, but it's not a priority. I thought I had no more carrots but I was wrong,there were some carrots that the monster didn't eat :P. I bought and awesome MONITOR!! :D A Mitsubishi/NEC Diamond Pro 2070SuperBright. It is soooooo humongus!! I love it to death.......awesome for video/photo/editing and artwork on illustrator and photoshop. OR just watching Heroes and Prison Break....oh and IT'S SOOOOOO BIG!! lol..........I am soooooo not used to having a monitor about the size of my TV! It's amazing.........okay here is a pic...my fingers are long...so that will indicate size...20 inches of pure viewing pleasure!!!!


it's just huge...and everything looks big....haha...I got it at an absolute steal :D under $200

"it is only the beginning"

I still feel a little unsteady but I have been hanging around my good friends :) that gives me comfort. Today is my Medical Examination and I am still sick with this cough thing. My mom pulled out the last of my carrots and she said there was nothing growing anyway :( Things just couldn't be worse for me but I keep a positive attitude...besides things can't get any worse, right? (usually does.....when you say that) anyhoo....I didn't only lose a dear friend I also lost a hero :( He was brave and he had the courage to tell the truth despite what it would cost him....little did he know, it would cost him his life! but he died a brave man and I admire him for that. He makes up for his past "selfishness" in full :)

Nathan....I love you!

"it's complicated"

My life has taken a complicated turn,based on a response by my gf. I just reacted and here I am.......listening to a song that now describes my love life....it's far from over, but I am staying strong. I have been used as a means to an end. I've been cheated and lied to.....I'm just giving up and walking away.....not exactly what I would normally do...BUT ...>>"IT'S COMPLICATED"

"wisdom is proven by application"

A huge span of time has passed since I updated my blog. There were many reasons behind this but the main reason is ME. I wasn't as dedicated, as honest, as decent as I was when I started writing this blog.I have sabotaged my own progress.Circumstances in my life had changed and along with it...me :( I hoped that this change would be for the better....I hoped for progress but instead I was going backward and this fact discouraged me and made me lose sight of my goals to improve myself.Here I am with everything seemingly lost and wasted....trying again to put the pieces of my life back together. I am happier now and I am relieved because I know that certain things in my life need attention. I have neglected part of me that has contributed so much to my personality but in realizing this I also realize the importance of my spirituality.I need to keep trying to do what is right....but sometimes our consciences and our thinking and our reasoning is so warped that we cannot make good solid decisions.So for me there is only one way I know to get back a good conscience :)

Today, I also heard some wisdom from a total stranger and what got to me was the fact that it took a stranger to get through to me....what my family and my friends have been trying to tell me for such a long time! I am going back to my family and friends because today I realized just how much they love and care about me :)

Cheers to Z:)