The grass isn't always greener on the other side......

My week went by quickly perhaps because I have been very precise with my online applications for work....I get rejection letter after rejection letter...which normally discourages me or diminishes my drive somewhat, but I am pretty up beat despite all the emails I have been getting in response to my application....I think there isn't a nice way of saying..sorry but you're just not good enough for this position....or we prefer a local...or sometimes it has more to do with specific requirements that have not been met.In the past few months of relentlessly bothering recruitment agencies and companies in Auckland I had called up Advanced Personnel, a company in South Auckland that was recommended by a relative.Talked to a friendly voice..finally! I have to call back next week in order to be registered...once that is done,I wait..some more.I don't want to wait any longer than I have already so I've been going through the hundreds of jobs advertised online hoping to find my golden goose egg....This has been ridiculous because I know I could be making more money in my home country.Something inside me tells me to stick around and look around....so despite the gloomy outlook, I am persisting with my positivity.....hoping that something goes right when everything seems wrong!

I am determined to do my best to find work in my field of study but I will probably have to work in "other capacities" until I find suitable work.I have always believed in hard work and I have always tried to give my customers the best.....I am posting a primary goal of getting employment and a secondary goal of getting employment in my field of study. Its a little late for a resolution but the new year does look promising even if it has been my worst year yet.

Hope it all goes well...here's to a fabulous 2010! :D

I'm legal...finally!

I'm finally legally living in New Zealand once again...due to the situation created by my then current visa expiring while waiting for renewal...but now I get to work for unspecified hours, for an unspecified employer. Yay! :) but that's just half of my trouble, now I have to find a job within my field of study in order to attain a residence visa, which I would like to have so that I can freely travel to my home country and back as I wish. Things haven't been the best for me in this "foreign" land. I know now what many immigrants feel when they decide to move to the greener grass (allegedly) on the other side. Moving to a new location creates a hole in your social life that cannot be immediately filled with friends that are of a different culture and social structure.To successfully settle in my new environment, I have had to observe the seeming weird (at first) way that the local people live out their busy lives. I also had to watch alot of local TV and that was just to learn the little words and phrases that locals use to express themselves....like "hard" I'd like to think I am...it was used in a context of agreement which sounded weird to me but HEY! when in Rome.......

I haven't picked up the kiwi accent yet but....I am hoping not to. I am happy with the way I speak but I feel like it draws too much attention and curiosity from many people.....so I find myself mixing things up....so I sound like a total goofball! I just want to sound like myself...my cultural identity crisis continues.....

I have been desperately trying to secure a job interview.....which was annoyingly difficult given the way employers discriminate, yes they do, despite what many people believe, employers have to discriminate in order to fit the right person into a job role.I had learned these facts from an IT workshop I attended a few weeks ago....I've been so lazy with my blog....partly because I've been hard on myself in other areas like.....finding a job! lol

Yes I can LOL in my blog..lol! :D I read in the listener a local magazine,that it helps to write a professional blog if you want to increase your chances of scoring yourself a job. I also realized the reality of the situation here which is a major factor in my difficulties in finding employment.....it is not JUST ME! :P haha talk about being so self-centered....yes other people can't find jobs too....but this is far from reassuring for me."One hundred and thirty-eight thousand New Zealanders are now trapped in the awful reality of unemployment, up 48,000 in the year to June. That's 6% of the workforce. Maori and Pasifika peoples are being hit even harder, with unemployment running at almost 13%. In each week in August, 1000 people more signed on for the unemployment benefit." While I don't qualify for any type of UB here since I am not a resident...this does more to strengthen my resolve since I have to compete with 138,000 locals who are unemployed! Shocking and sobering statistics...but I remain positive about my chances even as an immigrant. but it is not all doom and gloom as the forecast for people like me...I continue to annoy employers about how good I can be if I worked for them..eventually they shall give up and surrender a job to me! my evil plan should work :P

Seek New Zealand general manager Annemarie Duff says,"Job seekers have had to completely change their attitude to the way they go after jobs. They've had to be more focused, and they've had to think about what they have to offer to businesses." Now there are tentative signs the job market could be turning. "We are definitely starting to see a pickup in the last three weeks. We are starting to see an increase in the number of jobs advertised. It's early days, but it's a good sign," she says.

Oh well apart from that....I have not had too many issues with my personal life.....met a nice Canadian woman..but I have become somewhat disconnected with any type of relationship...so ends another chapter of my unattainable love life. I don't mind being a loner because if I find a job it may take me around the country...it is then a wise move not to be involved or as some of my friends put it "chained" to a certain area. I hardly consider being in a relationship chained or restricted...rather it is a freedom to enjoy specific attention from someone you care about.

I am still alive but....trying much harder to stay that way. I am just hoping that some New Zealand employer would see my value and potential and hire me....Since I don't qualify for unemployment benefits I have been working on an online store that I will launch soon with the help of my business partner Allen. I will keep everyone posted on the progress and hopefully....the pieces of the puzzle of my life end up falling in the right place :)

To all my dear friends...thanks for the support!

"Breakups-just a symptom of young love....growing old"

I have found myself without the desire or the bandwidth to post anything new lately....hmmm....i wonder if there’s a "connection" between the two?? lol I have been able to lift myself out of a sad and depressed state of mind..it took a lot from me emotionally, I am someone who never says "die" but a few weeks ago...that’s exactly what I wanted to do...just rot away like an insignificant piece of history (unlike Michael Jacksman) He died, apparently as some sort of hero to many people....but I really wasn't overly sad about the whole thing because I know why parasocial interaction makes people feel connected and some even feel loved by a popstar. I must give him credit for his brilliance though, he was uniquely MJ. This is not a tribute to him, more like an acknowledgement...unfortunately.So if by the amazingly odd chance that google still managed to bring you here ….move along buddy :P damn crawlers… I find it funny that when he was alive no one seemed to care....as much as when he died. I wonder if anyone would remember me if I died....but then again, I couldn't care....I'd be dead :P

Dreams of walking the streets of my childhood seem to taunt me....I had dreams of my friends...my family,especially my brother...cheap internet(even if it was slow) lol I can't help but miss it all! and yet, I do not feel that I am ready to go back to all of that....I even feel a little afraid that I am too used to the luxuries of being here in New Zealand like....an uninterrupted supply of…..water, L&P and cheap chocolate fixes :P it’s just not my time yet...I feel unaccomplished and I feel like it would be a waste if I just gave up and went back home right now...but that options seems more appealing as the days pass me by....5 months, that’s how long I have waited for my application to legally work in New Zealand, it’s crazy! I could accomplish far more back at home in the same time frame....I managed to contact my accounts advisor in Fiji…Joyce..she got married (way to make a single guy feel pressured.lol) she is writing up a reference for me….yeah I am officially single again (ladies hint, hint;) lol after giving my dearest Alyssa the "just friends" speech BUT this time....I meant every word and she understood and took it so well :) that’s why she is such a pumpkin :).I have lost a lot of passion in my life....hence the suspicion that I was depressed...but getting over the feelings of sadness and worthlessness...made me realize...I still don't have the fire inside me that drives me. I have stopped feeling "love" of any kind toward even my family...don’t get me wrong, I am still the same caring person...and I care about everyone I love that hasn't changed and I still have slightly waned feelings of love but...I just don't love everyone that I care about...it’s a weird unflattering feeling….I know!! SAD!! (Seasonal Affected Disorder) that’s what my crazy self diagnosis revealed. I also thought early mid-life crisis??? Anyone know what is up with me??YEHLP! There is definitely something UP with me….I honestly don’t feel like the same person I was before I went through all the tragedy of being unable to adapt to my new circumstances which seem to be very unfavorable at the moment! Psychiatrist anyone?? lol

I deal with it coz….like my brother used to say “sh*t happens” and I usually say yeah and sometimes I happen to sh*t….in da toilet, the place my life seems to be heading right now! I am not all doom and gloom however, I get a little bit of relief everytime I share the sad story of my life with someone….coz I know that things could be worse and there are people out there with much more to deal with than just not being able to work in a country that you spent a year in studying behind off in..ahhhhh…sorry :P. I was reading the newspaper and I actually considered being a sperm donor because I thought it wouldn’t count as work and I would feel good being able to help some infertile couple have children….but I don’t know…maybe I don’t feel like being a clone by 2020 :P Anyway, enough about me…although that’s usually why people read this….they want to know what is going on with me…..uhm so what else happened to me?? Hmmm….let me see…oh oh I met Maria the girl next door, and we went to the library again :) after talking to her about what she is doing with her life….i got an email from her on Monday saying that she is back in school!! Yay!! SEE! I’m not so useless after all :D good on her! I find that young people here just don’t have the right kind of reasoning. They think school is for fools…..maybe true lol but there is a practical side to being educated to a certain level. I feel everyone should at least know how to read and work with numbers, basically just adding,dividing,multiplying and subtracting (not necessarily in that order, I won’t be held responsible for your corrections) and everyone should at least know how to interpret and apply what they learn, to me THAT...is education….the rest is just stuff you learn because you CHOOSE to. People have been successful without having higher level education. Education is overrated.
I’m typing this in the library…so maybe I should remove all my exclamation marks?…shhhh! :P I am still feeling weirdly “emotionally neutral” (yep that’s what I’m calling it) but I feel generally good, okay,alright,set,cool,average,in the middle-ish. I am neither happy nor sad…but I do at times feel a surge of “happy” when I get a call from my friends (ahem…hint hint ;) things are looking up though, this is the last month I will endure this crappy wait for my papers……by the end of July if I don’t get any word on the progress for my application. I am most definitely going to withdraw my application and go home!..I am gonna list some of my goals on here soon….so if I succeed…I’ll be happy and if I fail….I will be humiliated…publicly! And forever known as a total failure :P If that doesn’t induce some passion, if not panic…into my life then I don’t know what will lol
Hasta la vista…..baby! :P my Spanish word(s) for today….eeeer why not?? :P

the 3F's ( Fun,Friends and....uhm Few drinks?lol)

I had been eager to catch up with some of my friends from high school who have moved here the last few years but somehow there was always something that got in the way,so we all decided that we'd make a plan for the 17th of May...which I thought was a Saturday without even checking my calendar.I was so excited and so were they.....and I assumed there were going to be so many people invited since one of my friends MK was saying that she will invite everyone she knows from facebook...so she set the theme for the night to be "yellow" so we all had to wear something yellow...that week I frantically searched my wardrobe for something yellow but I couldn't find anything,since most of my clothes were still at home in Fiji....hmm..I wonder,I just ignored it and thought I'd go against the theme.At the last minute,I was hit by a stroke of brilliance,while in the kitchen having dinner,I saw an apple,an orange and then this bright yellow banana staring me in the face,I immediately knew what I was going to take along for my yellow theme hehe!I got dressed,slightly casual yet warm and I wanted to call my friend in America while I was waiting coz I had this thing I had to do for her,a prank call to her enemy or someone she really didn't like and so we were planning the meanest things to say but I never got to be badass :( my ride came and it was really funny being picked up by two girls....while in the car,I pulled out my banana and pointed at it as my yellow ticket in...they both laughed hard!And miss D said "you better not sit on it and get squashed banana all over my carseat!" she is a fiesty one this girl ;) lol. We got to the city and I managed to catch up with the other girls who...also made a mockery of my banana lol it was the center of attention...so naturally,I was a little jealous lol but I had so much fun and it took my mind of more pressing issues.My friends updated me on their lives here in New Zealand,they all have a life except for banana boy! lol I had such a great time and the other guys cancelled so it was just me and the girls...and 2 others who attended our reunion by phone...Allen,who everyone just loved to make fun of and Ace from Australia,who was feeling rich and wanted to waste his money on international phone calls..lol This was,hands down,the best night I have ever had here! I also got some advice from the 3 lovely ladies about my recent ordeal with the ex girlfriend...it helped :) I am much less stressed now and I am happier knowing that even in this foreign land,where I don't really know anyone,I still have friends and I am grateful for their company :) They're already planning another reunion and I'm hoping that at least some guys would attend coz a night with 3 girls can really wear a guy down..lol
To more serious matters of concern,my work permit is still in limbo and so I am not legally entitled to work here...so I've been looking online for something I can do while I wait for the outcome of my immigration status...I was looking towards opening an online trade website but...someone already did that lol www.trademe.co.nz and from what I hear, they became millionaires....no,I'm not looking for millions just enough to get by...I got some mad skills and so it drives me crazy that I can't put them to good use...I'm just being patient but....I'll have to see what happens.In the meantime,I am happy that I have good friends for support.lol hope you like the update..lol

Yes I grew a mustache again...a sign of mourning or loss lol :P

"My 15 minutes of fame"

Last year, while in class, there was a presentation by geosmart about location innovation, a competition that tries to find innovative applications for use with current maps available on AAmaps.After learning about some of the categories, I decided to give it a shot.....but I was hesitant since I am not exactly a star programmer. I applied for entry but I never worked on it...I mean totally NOTHING was done...I soon forgot about it until one day, I was awakened by a happy voice, and she asked if I was ready to submit my entry. Awake and drowsy, I couldn't care less...so I told her I haven't done jack.....and that I didn’t think I could submit anything within that time. She then asked if I would submit something if the deadline was extended for a week because they were officially extending the deadline. I agreed, perhaps just to get back to sleep...lol I didn't do much after that, but when the weekend came, I started thinking of an idea my friend told me about....she was the one that got me on the way to this idea of a GPS software switch.....which was quite unique, I started putting some words and ideas together. My idea was to develop an application that would change alert profiles based on location. I always found that I sometimes forget to switch my phone to silent mode during class….and I know I wasn’t the only one..lol I remember class being interrupted by annoying ringtones….although some were quite pleasantly annoying haha….well, what if...you didn’t have to switch your phone profile every time you go into a cinema or to class or to a meeting?? This was the entire basis for my concept application. One week later, I still had not completed it so when I got a call this time, I said that it was okay, I cannot enter since it was still incomplete. I told her about my idea so she must have liked it, she gave me another 3 days and I was able to complete it and submit…FINALLY! It would have been a waste if I didn’t get it in coz I really worked hard at it. Then I didn’t hear from her until they had the awards, she called to confirm my attendance and I told her I would be there…..and so I was there, fashionably late…lol there were free drinks so I had a Heineken and my lecturer was there, I told him that I entered and he said that was good. At this point, Sarah had not seen me so no one knew I was there….and then they announced “unfortunately our next category winner wasn’t able to make it”….and when I saw my name on the projector…I quickly raised my hand and waved at Sarah…she invited me up to receive the award for “outstanding student entry” it was super cool……I had never really won too many awards in my life so this was a great experience for me :)

I got an envelope and a framed certificate and I thought wow, this is great….I thanked them and was about to get off the stage area when they announced that I also get a blackberry pearl with GPS…..now this is the part way you try to remain calm..lol I was so happy, it was the best prize I ever won…totally cool and I was always thinking of getting a new phone anyway, didn’t think I’d actually win it…the evening ended with some conversation with the people there and then I personally thanked Sarah with a kiss on the cheek..she was glad I could make it. I had an awesome time…and only had 1 beer the whole night :) I’m glad that Sarah was just like my mom, very pushy lol but I should really call it motivating and not pushing….well, I am glad I participated in such a cool competition. My School had used the pic for a promotional in the newspapers back in Fiji...I got congratulations all around :) thanks everyone!
I’m looking forward to working now and putting my skills to good use. But I have to wait for my work permit to be processed…its taking ages!

"I won't pay,I won't pay, no waaayayayay!"- theres no place like home..click click :P

If you don't know how a packet of "fmf breakfast crackers" can bring a man far,far away from home almost to tears,just by the sight of it....you've never lived in Fiji!

I had perhaps one of the most emotional and satisfyingly tasty breakfasts in my life,when my sister brought home a reminder of my great days in Fiji, I enjoyed it with a rush of memories that made me feel that I was actually having a biscuit breakfast :)

I haven't been posting so I lost a subscriber yesterday....I called immigration NZ yesterday and I was told that, I will have a reply by the end of next week...All I can do is wait, and end my unstable relationship with my buddy Alcohol:

Dear Alcohol,
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours.As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with fire sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale bbq chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit-Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock!

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin)prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms.

You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully, we can continue this fruitful partnership. Thank you, Your biggest fan -unknown source

Cheers.x

"Two wrongs are only the beginning"

If you’re one of those people who got tired of seeing the same post on this pagefor about a month now……well,I have something to say about that…..a valuable lesson learned, you can’t always have everything go your way, although,I always have it planned that way in my head. No matter how many times someone tells you that “it’s going to be okay” it just doesn’t make a difference! I haven’t met my goals for January but I have however made progress and I had failed miserably with my project kanwon but not completely disheartened, I just need to tweak my timer. It really isn’t a big deal for me. I have acquired this laid back attitude and I think I do better as the guy who freaks out. I was that guy in high school, always reacting extremely to situations that weren’t so extreme….ahem, I am now Adam Sandler calm, if you have ever seen this guy act, you’ll know he seems so calm in most of his characters, in fact it looks like the guy is heavily sedated at times….I am calm! :P
Well, not much is new except the fact that I have applied for a work permit as an extension to my visa, which expires in hmm…3 weeks from now, it’s no biggie :P I don’t mind going back home but my buddy wants to come over in July sometime so hmm….should I panic now?? I really don’t know, oh and a special hello to “S” she has been a good friend, telling me what to do, lol while I can do things on my own, I realize that I find it very comforting when someone else tells me out of consideration what I should be doing…even if I don’t like to hear it. We take the people who are close to us for granted sometimes, when we really don’t know if they will stick around through the worst times….would I do that for my friend?? Hmm…yeah, I think that I don’t appreciate things in general, lately, I haven’t even been saying “thank you” which is very nothing like me, should I panic now?? Okay, maybe I just need to work on that “everything is going to be okay” :) I got pretty emotional yesterday because of what I saw on the news, a 13 year old girl robbed a “dairy”-cows not included (that’s what New Zealanders call a supermarket or shop) she made her getaway with some diapers, milk and 2 packets of chocolate biscuits of some sort. I just thought about my sister doing that to keep my nephew alive, I would never let her do something so wrong because of something right…..even for the right reasons, we should never steal. I think that there were other ways to deal with her desperate situation.
Oh well, that was about the usual drama that I got out of my TV, I have been stuck indoors for too long, but I hope that all changes, coz I’m getting pretty fat! Okay now I should panic?? Nah, I want more fat, they say that people with more fat have more energy reserves to call on when they hit the wall.
Well, I have been told off by many of my well meaning female companions to be wary about calling women fat…but I do that all the time! I’m just honest, my friend veronica says it is so wrong, I don’t think so I mean, I am honest but I don’t mean it in a demeaning or negative way, fat is good, in my books, I am not into the supermodel body types. Anorexic ladies are not very appealing for me….but yeah, it might seem shallow but I think it is reasonable…when I think about it, it would bother me just staring at someone who is sticky thin, wondering if my next hug would snap her in two. But then again, most people don’t have perfect health these days….I am glad that I have put on some good weight, I’m getting more hugs….hugging ahem…..“well grown” people is just a yummy feeling :) girls are nicer coz they are more cozy, I hug guys too….it isn’t gay, contrary to what most guys believe, It would be gay to think that it is a gay thing to do. I have a wonderful lady that wants to go into business and she has come to me for advice…..we met when I was working at an internet café she was a regular, always happy, and positive…made everyone smile. She called me sunshine! I loved that….hehe makes me all sunshiney! :D anyway, she is gay, girl gay is different from guy gay….and she has a really cute kid. I believe in her idea for business…she is really ambitious and she wants me to help her with her business proposal. I couldn’t help but get all my feelings back, I miss my business, it was something to call my own and I earned the respect and trust of the people I worked with….I had a dream last night that I was a co-owner of a bar with a swimming pool inside….the other part owner was “Wayne Brady” funny guy….weird that he is in my dream…I saw a re-run of “who’s line is it anyway” the other day, maybe I missed him? Who knows? I have many new thoughts and ideas in my head, New Zealand does have great prospects for business..but I need to work in the industry here for at least a year or 2 to be able to start out here. I would be starting from scratch so it would be very difficult and the economic downturn doesn’t give me much confidence either but, I think I will give it a shot.
I’ve decided to stop my Spanish words…partly because of my new laid back attitude and partly because…I haven’t met any Spanish people lately….I will continue when I have found my swing :)

"the young know the rules, the old know the exceptions"

I'm a little older now, hopefully, thats means more wisdom....I had been laying low, dreaming, thinking and searching for something new and enchanting to captivate me and keep me sufficiently motivated....to live :) I managed to find such a wonder in someone that I have known for a while....I believe that humans are beautiful creatures...

We have the ability to :

1 be courageous under oppression.

2 find love in the face of all obstacles

3 feel joy despite the most unfavorable conditions plague us.

4 experience peace when the entire world seems to be at war,

5 be patient despite the timer placed on our fragile lives

6 show kindness when it doesn't serve us to do so

7 be good :)

8 be faithful until death do us part 

I personally feel that we are capable of great things.....it is only that we decide to NOT to be our best..hence my quest for self improvement...it isn't an easy one but I always try to do my best....some may see this as some sort of superiority complex....which is totally wrong, I just wanna be the best I can be :D and my personal best may not be anyone else's 

I enjoy what I do and I find that I can do it well...with a little help from my friends that is :) well, at least from the ones who support me :P

I did this test and I found out that I am a Michael lol 

Which Prison Break Character Are You?

More on Prison Break. Created by BuddyTV

OLAY! hope that is a spanish word :P

Walking in Albany

On Wednesday the 7th of January I went up to the "North Shore" to see my dear friend,she has been through alot lately and I wanted to be there for her, I had sensed her distress and I felt her pain. I have the qualities of one of those "empaths" not sure if there are such things but I know that I sometimes feel the pain of others because I put mysef in their shoes....almost literally sometimes, just to see how it feels. I have been feeling sad and because somehow I felt her emptiness inside me...that is why I wanted to see her so much....I wanted to comfort her because, it would comfort me too...she wanted to see me and I thought it would be great :) 

I started my way by first giving my nephew a bath and then......giving myself a bath :P yeah, I was dirty.....looking at my project I'm happy it has been 8.25days! anyway, back to my story, I dressed in my "usual" fashion...nothing too fancy, after all I was going to see someone I was so comfortable with, so I got dressed and made my way out to the catch the bus (my sister took the car and the other car needed a driver...and I can't drive :(........yet;) I walk out to the bus stop and see this old lady standing there......so I stand casually on the side of the the road.....thinking about how great the sunshine is and the day that lay ahead of me......then I see this guy in uniform make his way toward me...and he has a look in his eye that is "suspect" I realize that he is a police officer and I know the mind of a police officer since my dad was a cop.....so I remain calm and fight the urge to run...lol I just stand there and wait for his.....questions...he gets to me then asks "Is your name Isaac?" then I say in a very matter-of-fact way "nope" haha....typical ME :P he then asks me I've seen anyone loitering about and his questions seemed very accusing but...hey, I would think like this guy.....anyway he leaves to beat some other bush and the old lady starts talking to me......telling me of her sadness and her struggles of living "South side" I nod in agreement even though I probably don't truly know the depth of her feelings with her expressions of disappointment....I do understand that South Auckland is widely known as a place that is not safe to live in ( I have yet to see evidence of this...people have lived in worse places) the media has depicted South Auckland as a hell hole but I believe that it is highly exaggerated....so after a few minutes chatting to this lovely old lady we hop on the bus....she gets off near a school and I get off and catch the train to the city......when I get there I call this girl I've been talking to for almost 3 months and I haven't seen her for so long...we start talking as I tell her where I am....I can hear the excitement in her voice as I tell her that I am getting on the bus....she had been waiting since early in the morning (when I woke her up) expecting to see me sooner but I was held up by a little kid...lol my nephew, he is such a needy thing!

So there I am on the bus and I notice that people are staring at me, foreigner from another town,people on the North Shore haven't seen southerners before?? weird! lol...anyway, I'm talking to her the whole way there and I'm loving it (of coures :D) I tell her to get out quick and start walking coz I'm almost there.....so she does, the bus stops at the bus station and I get out to see if I can spot her, and I did...I have nice eyes....so I'm told :P When I saw her...she looked great but I didn't really let her know that much....until later :P

she had a skip in her step that just got me all excited.....she came over and gave me a great BIG hug...and she lifted her legs off the ground (wow, she actually trusted me not to drop her....she was fairly heavy...but uhm...I was super...errrm strong ;) I held on tight and it felt a little strange....coz we haven't seen each other for so long! We were a bit like strangers but that feeling soon went away after we started walking to....uhm we don't know..lol we just walked :) We got to a junction along the road and we would just say....okay lets go there.....and we agree....and walk....until I came up to EAST COAST ROAD....I had been down that road before...I know where it leads..."to da beach y'all!!" :D We decided to go down to the beach.....I had no clue how far it is when you're NOT IN A CAR..lol I led her down the road...until we came to a sign that says "BUSH WALK" so we were feeling adventurous and decided to go down some bushes....we hoped it would lead us to the beach but..instead...it led us to someones back yard....lol and so we had to go back up to the road..

we then got thirsty so we looked for a water,I swear water never tasted so great!....it was a real struggle to walk up the hill though..so two bushwalkers came back up to the main road and continued on their quest to find sand and sea! We stopped at almost every other bus stop to take shelter from the ultra-violet rays of the beautiful burning star in the sky....and to talk and comfort each other....ahem, then on we went...we bought a single bottle of water and we shared it until finally she spots the beach.....her excitement was made evident by her skipping.....so cute :) we reach there and we take the walk on the beach we've always wanted.....but not exactly how we imagined it.....then she takes a dip and asks me to join her...but I was more worried about not having any change of clothes.....and looking after my belongings...so I took pics of her while she was walking into the water and jokingly said that I was going to baptize her......I really got her with that one...lol the water was disgusting though, not quite as appealing as the beaches back home.....it was so eeew! she was probly the nicest thing in the water :P 

We finished and walked back.....a long long way....thats around 10 Kilometers in total!!! she was pretty fit...able to keep up with me...and my backpack...the additional weight on my back was really killing me.....but I tried my best to ignore it coz...I didn't wana look like a sissy boy :P We stop at a few bus stops (and under a tree) on the way back, she put me at ease and she brought tranquility to my mind and happiness to my heart...BUT this time, I liked her more as a friend...however,I found myself feeling some tension toward her....so I kissed her and it was nice, I enjoyed it but it wasn't the same as what we had when we first met, and we were both glad we got that out of the way :)....but I loved walking with her more...holding her hand...it seems our hands fit together so perfectly....she gave me the comfort I craved for....I enjoyed her warm hugs....it was delightful :D her presence made me happy.....

This is something funny that she saw....when she was holding my hand,she noticed the colors...she said neapolitan ice scream.....and we laughed so hard!! lol aaaah "crack up" she always says that :P

 

"I love you THIS much!" :P

this is one she took of me...she isn't much of a photographer...but its okay :P 

We sat under this tree and had the most meaningful discussion about life,love....and God and it felt so good to see how she responded...because she never really believed in God...she totally amazed me with her understanding and her desire to know more :) I left feeling so happy and accomplished...she was satisfied with her goal to reach the beach and I was happy that I got to talk deeply with her....we connected so much that I did not want to leave her...but the sun was setting (at 9pm....lol) and I had to catch the bus home...so she gave me one last hug and I got on the bus.....I already started to miss this wonderful woman....I was looking forward to seeing her again....this was a great walk :) Thanks my sweet panda...x

I got no spanish words today...its all ENGLISH :)

A new horizon, a new life, an old goal :)

It's the beginning of another new year.....and this new year was my first year away from home, also the most uneventful one I have ever had...I spent the last minutes of the last year telling my girl-- friend how I feel about her...and the first minutes hearing how she felt about me....and discussing my crazy project knawon! I had decided to do something silly for 1 whole year....it is totally crazy, I have done this before....http://imawip.blogspot.com/2007/08/temptation-to-quit-will-be-greatest.html. That was a tough time for me...I'm killing a desire, I just hope I don't kill myself in the process....many of my friends here are saying that it is impossible...I am not sure if anyone has ever done this...but I'm sure I'm not the first person to ever attempt such insanity,or am I?? if you're wondering what the hell I'm going on about then.....just ask me..lol

Of cos project knawon seems totally pointless but, its my baby :) I have a counter in the corner to keep tract of my progress throughout this year...which I believe would be my craziest year ever! :) I'm in a world of new opportunities, I'm in a position to start a new life, but I still have the same goal...to be better! I am indeed a work in progress and I don't think that will ever change, there are still so many things I want to change and yet many more things that I have come to accept about myself. I have been blogging about my boring self for almost 2 years! I can be a very committed person if I believe in a cause....a reason for doing something....but what has been motivating me lately....has been very shallow reasons, that is probably why my life feels so boring and sad but I want to change all that....make things better, BE BETTER! :)

yEs that is a new banner....ahem, it is a bit lame but....I'll change it when I find more time to go photoshopping :P I don't feel any different from how I was last year but I definitely feel like my year hasn't been a totally waste, but I believe I could have been better......I miss my friends so much....I feel like I will eventually lose my old friends and find new ones....it is almost like the way of things.....the circle of life that is mentioned in The Lion King...I always feel the same sad, nostalgic feeling I get when I watch the scene in that movie..I can still see Mufasa saying "You must take your place in the circle of life.Remember who you are..." I had such a great 2008! It has been one of the best years of my existence....I look forward to a great 2009.....

Thanks to all my readers, I wish you all the best for 2009! 

My spanish word for today is: cambio